Online Romance Scam Warning Signs

July 9, 2021 - Reading time: 10 minutes

Scammers are drawn to dating websites and apps because they know that people visit them in order to find partners with whom they can create personal connections with. Scammers will try to take advantage of their trust with the ultimate goal of soliciting money. They will often take several months, or even years, to gradually build the trust of their victims before asking for money or gifts.

Action Fraud received 4,555 reports of romance fraud in 2018, with each victim losing an average of £11,145. The amount of romance scams reported has nearly tripled since 2015, and the amount of money lost to scammers in 2019 was almost six times higher than it was five years previously. Women are more commonly victims and lose twice as much as men on average.

Many victims have lost hundreds or thousands of pounds to these online dating scammers, and it’s not always easy (or possible) to get any money back.

With this in mind, we have put together some of the common warning signs that you should know about to help you detect and avoid online dating scams. When you are talking to someone online, be on the lookout for these warning signs:

1. They will try to speed up the relationship’s growth

Internet dating scammers want to get your money, and they want to get it as fast as they can. They will take advantage of people’s desires of creating a real connection with someone and try to speed up the growth of the relationship as fast as possible.

They will do this by making early declarations of their love for you and by telling you why they believe you are meant to be together. This is one of the most common warning signs that the other person isn’t real and is just trying to scam you.

Scammers will also ask you to message them outside of the online dating site. They do this so they have more control and so that they can’t be stopped by the dating site before they take your money.

2. Asking for money, gifts, and favours

Once the scammer feels like they have made enough progress in the scam by gaining your trust, they will start to take money from you. They may do this in many different ways, some of these could be:

• They will tell you about health problems that they don’t have enough money to deal with
• They could ask you for money because they need help and you’re the only one they can ask
• They will ask for gifts so that you can show how much you really care about them
• Asking for favours that involve some sort of financial gain for them

The scammer will become more direct if you are not willing to give them money or aren’t sure that you should. They may even threaten to end the relationship and never talk to you again. This is a strong sign that you are talking to a scammer.

3. Communicating with basic responses and providing strange details

Scammers will usually be talking to many people at the same time, with the ultimate goal of receiving money from some of them. Managing many different fake profiles can become difficult and this will cause the scammer to respond with basic sentences that don’t appropriately answer your questions.

Sometimes they will be using pre-written scripts, so when they respond to you their replies will not have any information that mentions what you have already said.

Once they believe their victim has fallen for their lies, the scammer will start focusing on them more and communicate more attentively. They will start sounding different from before, this will likely be caused by them not using the pre-written script anymore. If you notice differences in writing styles and tone, then you should be suspicious about who you are really talking to.

Look out for inconsistent details too. A scammer might find it hard to remember all the lies they have told you. Details they mention in the chats with you might be different from the information they have added to their profile. This is a common sign that you may be talking to a scammer.

4. They will plan to video call you but then back out by making up excuses

If the person you are talking to has planned to video call you many times but then backs out at the last minute and makes excuses, then you could be talking to a scammer. They might say that their camera broke and they are going to buy a new one to video call with you, they might even ask you to help them pay for the camera.

If you do end up video calling with a person that you have met through the internet, make sure that they are actually speaking to you and responding to the things that you say. One tactic used by dating scammers is to play pre-recorded video in order to make it seem that you are video calling with someone else entirely.

5. They don’t have a digital footprint

It’s difficult not to have a digital footprint nowadays, so if the person you are talking to doesn’t have one, then you are likely talking to someone with a fake profile. Though some people don’t like to use social media sites and prefer not to share personal information online, this is usually a more telling warning sign when paired with the other warning signs listed in this article.

How can you check whether a person has a digital footprint? Well, simply running a Google search for their full name should reveal their presence on social networking sites, forums, and any other platforms they frequent… Perhaps their name is listed on a site linked to their workplace, or maybe they use LinkedIn for professional networking.

If the person you are talking to has no digital footprint whatsoever, or a very small one, this could be a sign that they might be using a false name, and that they are potentially a scam artist.

6. They seem too good to be real

Scammers will try and find out as much information about you as they can so they can seem like they are the only person for you. They might claim that you both share the same interests and always bring those up and talk about them. These interests could be found out by them looking at your other social media accounts.

Using this information, they can change their personality to one that they believe is more appealing to you. They will use this to lure you in and make you drop your guard. Once they have done this, the scammer will do whatever they can to take money from you.

7. Their profile was recently setup and has little activity

Let’s face it, most of us have been using social media platforms for many years, or decades in some cases. During that time, we will gradually interact with more and more people, ourselves and our family/friends will share photos of us, and document our lives in some form or another.

If you are speaking to someone that has a social media profile which was very recently setup, you should question why that is. Similarly, if the person has very few photos on their account or very little activity, this can act as another warning sign that something isn’t right.

8. They ask you to do things for them

Dating or romance scammers will sometimes involve themselves in multiple different forms of online fraud. These frauds can often become very elaborate and involve several people being duped in order for them to work properly.

You might be asked to do something on behalf of a scam artist which seems innocent and harmless, however, we recommend to err on the side of caution, and be very mindful about what you are being asked to do.

For example, if you are asked to receive money into your bank account, this should act as a massive red flag. Scam artists often use bank accounts belonging to third parties in order to receive money before forwarding it on to them. They might instead ask you to print off and mail documentation, to receive items in the post for them, purchase gift cars, or wire money through Western Union… Whatever the case, be careful, this is a giant warning sign that you might be talking to a scam artist.

9. Their English is poor and can be difficult to understand

We commonly find that romance scammers are based overseas, and as such they do not always have the best English abilities. If the person you are speaking to often writes with grammatical errors or you find it difficult to understand them, this could act as a signal that they are in fact based abroad and that they are not a native English speaker.

This may seem like a trivial point but is actually very important and a big indicator that the person you are speaking to could be lying about their identity. Read through their messages and ask yourself whether it all makes sense… Is this someone based in an English speaking country or someone that is speaking English as a second language? 

What to do if you suspect that you are speaking to a scammer

Romance scams are one of the most devastating forms of fraud. Aside from the financial damage, romance scams can leave victims feeling vulnerable and alone. If you suspect that you might be falling victim to a dating scam, then seriously consider the warning signs listed in this article and whether they apply to you.

We also recommend that you seek help and advice from a trusted friend or family member. Talking through your situation with others can help with coming to terms with the situation and provide emotional support.

As a leading detective agency based in the UK, PrivateInvestigators-UK are often called on to verify claims that have been made by internet romances, and we have helped to expose numerous romance scammers over the years. If you suspect that you might be falling victim to a scam then feel free to get in touch with us and see how we can help.