10 surprising red flags that your partner is cheating on you

December 28, 2020 - Reading time: 14 minutes

Red flags that your partner is cheating

There is nothing worse than suspecting your partner of committing infidelity. Some people will bury their heads in the sand and ignore the warning signs, consciously or subconsciously, to try to convince themselves that it isn’t happening. For other people suspecting that their partner is cheating on them can be very stressful and unnerving. 

The simple fact is that cheaters can become exceptionally good liars and mask their wrongdoings to perfection, if an affair is taking place over many months or years, this can provide your partner with time to hone their lies and make themselves seem extremely believable. Catching cheating partners can prove very difficult, especially if they are making a conscious decision to hide their tracks. 

The sad fact is that many people who are being cheated on will never discover their partner’s true activities. However, there are some warning signals that you can look for which might indicate your partner is cheating on you, and we have put together a list of 10 red flags that your partner might be cheating on you…

1.     They tell you that their “need their own space”

Many people that have been cheated on told us that their partner said that they needed more space around the time that infidelity started or was ongoing. This has been described as a tell-tale sign that your partner is showing less interest in you and making emotional space for a new person in their life. If your partner believes that they are “taking a break” from your relationship, this might be seen as a green light to form a relationship with someone else.

 2. They make changes to their appearance

If your partner has made sudden changes to their appearance such as buying new clothes, changing their hairstyle, changing their makeup or facial hair, then this could be a sign that they are catering to the tastes of another person, or trying to make themselves more presentable. This could manifest in subtle changes, such as getting haircuts more often or spending more time/money choosing clothes. If you partner is taking more attention to their appearance than usual then this can be a warning sign that they are cheating on you or having an affair. 

3. They shower more often and at irregular times 

This point might seem obvious but is a sign that many people overlook. If your partner is showering more regularly, then this could be a sign that they have been intimate with other people. Some cheaters will use activities such as visiting the gym or playing sports to bathe more regularly; other people might use the shower while their partner is not around to avoid them becoming suspicious about them washing more regularly.  

4. They develop strange smells

If your partner is coming back home smelling of strange aftershave or perfume then this is an obvious tell-tale sign that they could be getting close to another person unbeknownst to you. Similarly, if your husband or wife starts to smell of cigarettes when they don’t smoke, or alcohol, or are using more perfume/aftershave themselves to try to mask odours, then this could be a red flag that something isn’t right. 

Some people have even claimed to have discovered their partner was cheating from “the smell of sex”, or products related to intimacy such as condoms or lubrication… While this point might seem like a bit of a joke, it is a potential warning sign that your partner could be cheating on you.

5. They spend more time doing things away from you

If your partner is spending more and more time away from you then this could be a sign that there is someone else in their life that you aren’t aware about… This could mean that they spend more time than usual running errands in their day-to-day life, for example. Often a cheating partner will claim to be doing things which just don’t quite add up… How long should a trip to the shops take? How long does it take your partner to drive home from work? While it might seem paranoid to make these calculations, if your partner is having an affair then they will need to be dishonest about how they are spending their time while you are apart from them. 

Cheating partners can spend time messaging or calling other people in private which can act as another tell-tale sign that they are interested in somebody else. 

6. They shy away from making commitment or large purchases

If your partner is cheating on you then they might be more reluctant to enter serious commitments with you or make large purchases... If your partner is not thinking about a long-term future with you then they may seem very hesitant when making a big decision such as signing a joint lease or mortgage with you. Co-purchasing vehicles or signing loans would also make a cheater think twice if they are having doubts about a relationship, and whether or not they will continue to be in that relationship several months or years into the future.

To put it simply, if your partner is not showing any signs of planning a future with you in the long term, then this is a major red flag that they are having doubts about your relationship with them.

7. They hide their phone screen

If your partner is hiding their phone screen and not allowing you to use their phone, this is a major red flag that they could be talking with other people inappropriately. If your partner truly has nothing to hide then they should have no issue with you borrowing or using their phone. If your partner becomes angry when you ask to use their phone, tablet, or computer, and insists on keeping their devices private, then ask yourself what they might be attempting to conceal. 

More and more people are using specialist software to hide dating or messaging apps from their partner. This way, it is possible for other people to use their devices without being able to access any dating apps or chats. With more phones having the ability to hide applications in this way, it is inevitable that more people will take advantage of this function to conceal contact with other people from their partners. Be aware that if your partner is tech savvy, then they might be taking steps to try and conceal their digital activities.

8. Their money is going missing

Whether your partner is paying for meals in restaurants or purchasing gifts for a lover, having an affair is likely to cost them money at some point; and if money is going missing or being withdrawn more than necessary, this can act as a sign that your partner might be doing things (or meeting people) that you are not aware of.

This point is harder than it might seem to pick up on. After all, it’s easy to save an amount of cash without your partner finding out. People that are cheating on their partners might only take small amounts of money to fund their activities over a long period of time, unless they are splashing out or purchasing a lavish gift for their lover. However, if significant sums of money are disappearing from your partner’s account, then this is a warning sign that you should consider if your partner is suspected of infidelity.

9. They become angry when asked about cheating

If your partner becomes very angry or defensive when they are asked about cheating then this could act as a red flag that they have something to hide. If a person is not cheating then they should have no reason to overreact to accusations of infidelity. Often is the case that cheaters will try to convince their partner that nothing is happening by reacting to such accusations with a highly charged emotional response.

10. They seem distant or uninterested

Many people that have been victims of infidelity in their relationships will describe a feeling that something isn’t right with their relationship. Often they will describe a gut feeling that something is “off” with their partners and not quite normal. Contributing to this sense of unease could be your partner seeming less and less interested in you, and showing less affection or intimacy that you once experienced in the relationship. If your partner feels distant and not as connected, this can be a sign that their emotional needs might be getting met by another person.

It’s important to note that some people can become very good at masking their lack of interest in a partner, especially if an affair goes on for several months or years, putting your finger on signs that something isn’t right can be more difficult.

What to do if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you

1. Stay calm and gather information

If you suspect that your partner might be cheating on you then we would always recommend to stay calm and bide your time... Taking the time to gather clear evidence that your partner is cheating on you can only serve to help you when confronting them, and during any potential divorce proceedings which may follow. Jumping to a quick and emotional reaction, while tempting as this may be, can lead to you being in a worse position when it comes to proving that infidelity was taking place. The best way to proceed is always by remaining calm and making calculated decisions, no matter how difficult this may seem.

2. Understand and accept your feelings

 For many people, discovering that their partner was cheating on them can begin a rollercoaster of emotions and a process of coming to terms with what has happened. Coming to terms with and understanding your emotions can help to make rational and informed life decisions going forward.

3. Don’t take revenge 

Often people that were cheated on will react with immense anger at the situation, and may do things which they later regret down the line. A common reaction for many people is to seek to embarrass their partners by making posts about their relationship on social media. Other people may even react by doing things (such as damaging their partner’s property) which could lead to legal problems for them down the road. You may feel a temporary feeling of satisfaction when performing acts of revenge, but long term they are unlikely to benefit you and may prove a hinderance.  

4. Let your partner know that you need to talk

Often there is no perfect time to confront a partner about their suspected infidelity. Letting them know that you need to speak to them, and arranging to have ‘the talk’ in a neutral and safe place can be a good way to proceed. 

Confronting your partner about suspicions that they are cheating on you is usually very uncomfortable for both parties. Arranging to have ‘the talk’ with them in a place where they feel safe and comfortable is usually a good first step in confronting them.

5. Get emotional support

Dealing with a cheating partner can prove to be very stressful for most people, and having a support group of friends or family to help you through the situation can be beneficial in many cases. Seeking help and advice from a qualified counsellor can also prove beneficial for many people and help to support them through the process of separating from their partner or resolving difficulties in their relationships.

Getting professional help

PrivateInvestigators-UK are the UK’s leading private detective agency. We have extensive experience investigating people that were suspected of cheating on their partners. We work across all areas of the UK and have helped countless people by delivering the truth and capturing hard evidence of infidelity in the form of images/video. If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, then we can help to confirm your suspicions and gather proof. Evidence which has been gathered by us during infidelity investigations has helped our clients to save vast amounts of money during subsequent divorce proceedings.

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If your partner is not cheating on you, then we can help to confirm this and provide you with peace of mind, without your partner ever finding out that you have used a detective agency to check up on them.

Our job is to gather hard evidence, in the form of photos or videos, which show that infidelity is taking place in a relationship. Such evidence can help our clients come to terms with the situation, and if your partner is cheating on you or having an affair, then confronting them with hard, irrefutable evidence can prove to be quite satisfying.

Please feel free to browse or website for more information about us and the services that we provide or get in touch with us for a free, no obligation quote.

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