Why Men Cheat on Their Pregnant Wives

May 13, 2021 - Reading time: 8 minutes

It may sound unfathomable, but it’s not uncommon for men to cheat on their pregnant wives. Some experts estimate that 10% of men start having affairs when their wives are expecting.

What is it about pregnancy that can turn a faithful man into a cheating husband? Why do men stray at a time when they should be closer than ever to their partners?

1. Their Emotional Needs Aren’t Being Met

Infidelity isn't always about sex. Some men cheat because their emotional needs aren’t being met. Pregnant women, rightfully, receive a lot of attention and care. Men may feel left out of the picture and neglected. 

A desire to feel cared for, wanted and needed can drive some men into the arms of other women when their wives are pregnant. 

Cheating gives them that temporary validation and positive attention they’re seeking and not getting from their relationship.

Emotional needs can mean a lot of different things:

• Admiration: Everyone, including men, has an innate desire to be admired. But admiration is often one of the first things to go in a relationship. Partners stop complimenting and praising each other. When admiration is replaced with criticism, this can drive men to seek admiration from another woman.
• Affection: Pregnancy and marriage can put things, like affection, on the backburner. But a lack of affection can degrade a relationship. When men feel like they are unappreciated or unwanted, they may seek these things in another woman.
• Attractiveness: Unfortunately, some men struggle with the physical changes that women go through during pregnancy. 
• Companionship: When couples first start dating, they plan dates and activities they both enjoy. These things can be neglected after marriage, and it can drive some men to seek out companionship in other women.
• Sex: If a man isn’t getting the sexual fulfilment he desires, he may seek it in another partner outside of the relationship. When a couple’s sex drive is out of sync, it can increase the risk of infidelity.

2. Pregnant Women Can Have a Lower Sex Drive

Pregnancy is a time of great change for women, and that includes their sex drive. In the first trimester alone, studies have shown that women have sex 20% less often because of their declining sex drive.

Several factors can affect a pregnant woman’s libido, including:

• Nausea or morning sickness
• Fatigue
• Fear of harming the baby
• Discomfort
• Feeling insecure

Lack of sexual intimacy drives many men to stray outside their marriage. A cheating boyfriend or husband may simply be looking to fill a physical need or desire. 

3. Some Men Look for Outside Support

Whether it’s a couple’s first or third pregnancy, a child means change. Some partners don’t adapt well to change together. 

A cheating husband may be feeling a whirlwind of emotions, including anger, stress, anxiety and fear. He may feel the need to look for support from someone outside of his relationship. Some men try to escape these feelings or their new responsibilities by seeking affection from other women rather than communicating with their partners.

4. Stress Can Drive Escapism in Men

Bringing a child into this world can be stressful. Research shows that for fathers-to-be, anxiety can be up to five times higher than normal during their partner’s pregnancy.

Life is changing. The future is uncertain. Couples may be arguing more than usual. Conflict and stress can cause some men to run away rather than resolve these issues with their partner.

The added stress of conflict and the pregnancy itself can drive some men to cheat because they’re looking for a way to escape reality. Cheating is just a form of escapism for some men. It’s their coping mechanism. That doesn’t make it right or healthy. But because they haven’t learned better ways to cope with their stress, they’ll try and escape reality by jumping into the arms of another woman.

5. Some Men are Ready to Call it Quits

Marriage and pregnancy complicate relationships. If a relationship was already on the rocks prior to pregnancy, some men may be ready to call it quits, but don’t know how to do it face-to-face. 

Instead, they use cheating as a way to end the marriage. They hope their wives find out about their extramarital affairs and end the marriage for them.

6. Fatherhood Can Lead to an Identity Crisis

Fatherhood can trigger an identity crisis in some men, even if they already have children. Having children changes everything. Suddenly, life isn’t all about you. 

Many parents lose their sense of self or identity. They feel disconnected with parts of themselves. Some men use cheating as a way to try and reconnect with those missing pieces or to fill a void.

7. Some Men are Bored

Boredom can drive men to cheat regardless of whether their wives are pregnant. Some men just aren’t ready to settle down and the idea of fatherhood may drive them to boredom. Others are just bored in general with the relationship (or their lives).

A desire for variety is a major driver of infidelity. Some men use cheating as a way to spice up their lives and kick boredom to the curb.

8. Childhood Trauma can Increase the Odds of Cheating

Men who have a history of childhood trauma – physical, emotional, sexual, etc. – may be more likely to cheat if they haven’t taken steps to address that trauma. 

Unresolved issues and exposure to infidelity during childhood can also make some men more likely to cheat on their pregnant wives. Research shows that children who are exposed to parents having an affair were twice as likely to cheat themselves with future partners.

Men who have a history of cheating are also more likely to cheat in the future, and pregnancy may be just the right trigger to drive his impulses. 

There are many reasons why men cheat on their pregnant wives – or why men cheat in general. Sex is sometimes the primary reason, but often, it boils down to unhealthy coping mechanisms, unfulfilled emotional needs or an ego that needs a boost. 

How we can help

If you believe that your boyfriend or husband might be cheating on you whilst you are pregnant, then trust your instincts and don’t suffer in silence. We can help to investigate your partner, check his activities, and gather evidence in the form of photos/video.

Often women will not feel comfortable confronting their partners about infidelity until they have solid proof, which is what we endeavour to provide as part of our surveillance service. Of course, if your partner is not cheating, then we can help to confirm this and provide evidence, without your boyfriend or husband finding out that he is being monitored by us. Our agents cover all areas of the UK. Feel free to read our homepage for more information about us, or get in touch with one of our experienced team members for help and advice. 

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