Is Your Partner Living A Double Life? (5 Warning Signs)
May 21, 2022 - Reading time: 12 minutes
There is a huge difference between being a pretty private person, and someone that is living a double life and deliberately hiding information from you. Living a private life is about not sharing their business with everyone around them, while a double life is based on lies. There are many reasons why someone might be living a double life – whether it is out of fear of being ridiculed by others about their true self, or they are doing something wrong, such as cheating and don’t want to be found out.
Living a double life is exhausting, and at some point, every person that does so shows some tell tale signs that things may not be as they seem. At PrivateInvestigators-UK, we are experts in investigating those who may be living a double life. Take a look at our information on the warning signs that we often see in those who are hiding something:
What Are The Signs Of Someone Living A Double Life?
If you are questioning whether your partner or someone close to you is living a double life, this means that there must be some signs that you are questioning. This could be things that they say or the way that they behave. Even the most confident people that believe they are great at hiding things will slip up on occasion or have tell tale signs that they are up to something that you are unaware of. The key to finding out that they are leading a double life is identifying the signs of it and deciding what action you will take to try and confront them. Below are some of the most common signs that we see, as top private investigators. Let’s take a closer look:
Warning Sign 1: They Are Overly Cautious With Their Phone
Nowadays, we are more connected with people than ever due to having smartphones in our pockets and multiple apps and social media platforms to connect with people on. Now, we aren’t saying that everything on your partner’s phone must be shared with you as everyone is entitled to their own privacy. However, your partner's phone use can also be a sign of a double life if they are attached to it at all times.
If they never sit their phone down and take it everywhere with them – including to the bathroom, in bed or when simply leaving the room for a few minutes, it may be a sign that there is something on the phone that will reveal their double life. Therefore, they take their phone with them to ensure that you cannot look at it.
It is normal these days for us to have passcodes to unlock our phones, but most people choose to share these with their partners. If your partner has passwords to access individual applications, this may be a sign that they do not want you to access them and they may be hiding something.
Some of our partners may be addicted to the apps and games on their phones, meaning that they don’t put them down for a while, but they will leave them to the side if they are completing tasks that require their full attention. Those leaving a double life, however, will keep their phones on them at all times – which is a huge red flag.
Warning Sign 2: They Don’t Spend As Much Time With You As They Should
One of the most important aspects of keeping a relationship alive is spending quality time with each other. This takes effort from both parties within the relationship, especially if you both have busy schedules as then you need to go out of your way to carve out time for each other. One of the key signs that someone may be leading a double life and spending their time with someone else is if this time for you to spend together, all of a sudden disappears.
It is important to note, that some people do have busy periods at their work, or looking after older family members which may mean they have less time for you – but they should be able to explain this to you and show that they are otherwise engaged. If, however, your partner is stating that they are busy with work all of the time, including at strange hours for a sustained period of time, they may be using work as an excuse to try and hide what they are actually doing. This excuse is often used as many people do not want to question their partner over their work as if they are in fact working hard, they will take this as an insult.
Spending time with you doesn’t just mean being in your physical presence, it means quality time. If your partner is in the house with you but is still ‘busy’ when they are at home, they may be attempting to avoid you and appear preoccupied so that they do not reveal their double life accidentally by slipping up when talking to you.
If you find that your partner is doing any of the above, and avoiding you, this begs the question of who are they paying attention to? If their efforts are focused elsewhere, they may not be showing you the attention that you deserve, so it is important to look in to this.
Warning Sign 3: They Get Mixed Up Easily
Most of the time if someone is leading a double life, they are often balancing a lot of issues and telling a lot of lies to cover their tracks and keep their secret private. Sometimes, however, this can be too much and they end up slipping up and saying something they shouldn’t. This can be a small slip of the tongue that leads you to become more suspicious about their actions, or a more major slip-up which confirms they are not telling the truth. Examples of this may include accidentally calling you the wrong name or talking about places they have been that they think is with you when you have in fact not been there. It may be telling you they are doing one thing, and then talking with someone else and saying they were up to something else – any kind of difference in their story.
While a person may make a genuine mistake once in a while, if these kinds of slip-ups are happening more and more often, it may be a sign that they are hiding something. If you notice this, begin to note down any discrepancies and see if you notice a pattern, or if they are becoming more common. This will allow you to confront them, or pass this information on to a private investigator to find out more.
Warning Sign 4: They Don’t Give Out Information Or Appear Distant
leading a double life is all about keeping secrets, and this is a clear change that can be noticed in your partner. If your partner was an open person at first, sharing their news, whereabouts, and information with you, you may notice when they start to keep these things a secret.
Keeping information a secret can include not telling you where they are going, not explaining why they have been away from the home for a long time, keeping their computer and phone password is a secret or even not telling you about their day. If you noticed a pattern – that this is happening the majority of the time, they may be leading a double life. they may want to keep these things secret from you to try and avoid slipping up and telling you information that will reveal their secret, or they do not want you to see messages on their devices. It is not uncommon for them to begin hiding bank statements and their transactions from you as they may be spending money in places that will give away their double life. If you do have access to bank statements it is important to check these for unusual transactions, as this will either be fraud or your partner is up to something without your knowledge.
Warning Sign 5: They Stop Being Intimate With You
One of the key tell tale signs if your partner is living a double life due to being with someone else and having an affair is that they stop instigating intimacy with you. Intimacy can mean a number of different things, such as cuddling and kissing up to having sex. This change may happen over time and usually starts out small, by cutting down on intimate contact until you do not feel like they are attracted to you at all. Intimacy does not only include physical contact; however, it may also include making an effort to make you feel special – such as going out on dates, cooking nice dinners or complimenting you. If you notice that these are beginning to lack in your relationship, you may find that your partner has a secret that they are trying to hide from you.
Why Do Some People Choose To Live Another Life?
There has been a huge amount of research into why some people choose to live a secret life, keeping things from their partners, friends and family. These studies have revealed that the number of people living a double life is higher than you may think. In fact, a high number of people will keep some kind of significant secret from their loved ones. The reasons for this are simple – people do not like feeling bad about themselves and do not want to accept that they are guilty of something that they will be judged for.
Generally, if a person is hiding something and leading a double life, they do not want to face the consequences of what they are hiding. Deep down, they are likely to be ashamed of their actions as they know they are doing something wrong, and do not want the fallout of revealing their secret to those closest to them. For example, if a person is having an affair behind their wife's back, they know that this is wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it but they don’t want to deal with the drama of telling their wife, and the subsequent breakdown of the marriage just yet. This is especially true if children or pets are involved as the risk is even higher for them then. Additionally, they may not want to deal with the judgement from their family members as they are in the wrong – their parents or siblings will not be happy with their infidelity, especially if they are close to their relative’s spouse.
The Take Away
There are many warning signs that your partner may be leading a double life. Most of them involve your partner becoming more distant with you – whether this is them physically avoiding spending time with you, or emotionally not opening up or sharing information with you. While most people will show one or two of these signs for a short period of time if they are stressed or busy at work, if you notice a pattern in their behaviour, this may be concerning.
There is nothing worse than that feeling in your gut that your partner is not being honest, and hiding something from you. If you are concerned that your partner is leading a double life, and is cheating on your relationship, we can help. At PrivateInvestigators-UK our expert investigators have years of experience in revealing if people are up to no good. If you would like to gather proof that your partner is cheating on you in the form of photos/video, then we can help. Please visit the PrivateInvestigators-UK homepage to learn more about us.
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