Ten Long Term Effects Of Cheating
June 5, 2022 - Reading time: 11 minutes
Let’s be honest, relationships are hard at the best of times but when two people are dedicated to each other and on the same page, they can work on it together. A problem occurs, however, when one person in the relationship is unfaithful and cheats on their partner. This is because it can not only ruin the relationship but there are long-term consequences that last far longer and can impact the person that is cheated on.
While these consequences tend to be negative, it is important to be able to identify them as this can go some way to fixing the problem. Not everyone that has been cheated on will experience all of the ten long term effects on our list, but they may experience a combination of them. Let’s take a closer look:
Long Term Effect 1: Blaming Themselves
Perhaps the most common consequence of a partner cheating is that they begin to blame themselves for their partners actions – thinking what they did to cause it and internalising the blame rather than blaming their partner for their own actions.
Many people spend a significant amount of time thinking what they could have done differently, or what they could have done more of in order to stop their partner from straying. This can eat a person up, causing them to have negative opinions of themselves. Therefore, due to this a partner cheating can have a long term impact on a person’s self-esteem and self-worth which can impact all areas of their life.
Long Term Effect 2: Negatively Impacting Future Relationships
If an individual has had their partner cheat on them, this can have a detrimental effect on their future relationships – whether they chose to forgive their partner and move on, or whether they choose to start a relationship later down the line with someone else.
As being cheated on can cause so much pain, it takes time to process this pain and minimise its effects. If a person is not careful, this pain can negatively impact their future relationships. For example, if the partner that cheated often went out without telling them, they will be upset or suspicious even if their new partner does this once. This can lead to significant strain on the new relationship from early on.
Long Term Effect 3: Not Wanting To Be Seen As Sensitive
Often if you have suspected that your partner is cheating for a long time, you may have noticed signs and tried to get to the bottom of it. In doing so, you may often have been speaking up, asking questions or saying that you were not happy about something.
Partners that have something to hide will often berate you for this, getting angry and frustrated could mean that you stop speaking up or make you think that you are being paranoid. Many who have been cheated on fear that voicing their opinion will lead to people pulling away from them.
Long Term Effect 4: Questioning the Entire Relationship
After a person has been cheated on and that trust is broken, the person that has been hurt may begin to look back on their relationship, questioning every situation and second guessing themselves, causing them significant distress. Moreover, this level of overthinking is likely to leak into other areas of their life including future relationships and friendships with their friends and family.
Common questions that a person may ask themselves include things like ‘Did they ever love me?’, ‘Were there warning signs?’ and ‘What did I do wrong?’. If you find yourself constantly fixating on questions like this, then it may be a sign that you need to talk your experiences over with a trained professional in order to come to terms with what has happened.
Long Term Effect 5: Losing Confidence In Your Abilities
As well as questioning their relationship and their actions, cheating can lead to a person losing all their confidence in many areas of their life. They may begin to doubt their abilities, their aspirations, and even their positive characteristics as a result of the self-blame that is often associated with cheating.
They may internalise their feelings and take this very personally, causing major long-term ramifications, because they believe their spouse cheated on them due to their own traits. A lack of confidence can negatively impact a person’s work, how they work towards their goals and their relationships with the people they are closest to. They may give up hobbies and interests that they are passionate about or become a more timid, reserved version of themselves.
Long Term Effect 6: Increase In Mental Health Conditions
As well as general upset and a lot of emotion, being cheated on has been found to actually increase the likelihood of mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. Studies have found that depression and anxiety can be exacerbated when a person is cheated on – whether this is straight away or a few months down the line once they have had time to process it.
Being cheated on is tough, and it can lead to some kind of mental trauma that can impact them long term. If you feel that this is the case, it is important to reach out for help and support to help get you through this difficult time. This could be to friends and family, or to a professional that is trained to deal with these kind of mental health conditions.
Long Term Effect 7: Losing Trust
One of the biggest long term effects of cheating is losing your trust in other people. It doesn’t only affect your feelings about yourself, like we discussed above, but it impacts your interactions and relationships with those around you. Part of this is due to the hurt and anger that you feel, and this may change the way you act around people, and part is due to the fact that you did once trust someone, and they let you down.
Trust is a complex thing – although it does not cost anything, it takes a lot to build. In relationships trust generally develops naturally as you spend time with someone, but one act of cheating can remove this very quickly. Not only can you lose trust in the person that cheated on you, but this feeling may also transfer to your other relationships – or for example, with friends and family. You may not notice this happening at first, so it is important to actively work hard on these relationships. You may find out that those around you will notice changes and mention it to you – and this may be the first you realize you are treating them differently.
Long Term Effect 8: Emotional About Your Ex-Partner
Even months or years after a person discovers they have been cheated on and splits up with their partner, they may find themselves getting emotional about their ex. Many avoid seeing them as they think they will not be able to cope, and do not even like reminiscing about the memories they have together. Ultimately, this comes from a place of hurt and it is a totally normal reaction to have. This emotions that are connected to your old relationship may not mean that you miss your ex-partner and want them back, rather, it is linked to a moment in your life where you felt vulnerable. These feelings may still continue even when you find a new partner who you love, but this is normal and happens to many people who have been cheated on.
Long Term Effect 9: Wanting To Be Single Forever
Let’s be honest, once you have been cheated on, it is totally normal to want to avoid relationships for a while due to some of the issues we listed above. Many can be put off relationships as they do not want to commit to someone and put their trust in them again. This may be an opportunity for a person to spend some time by themselves, or to date without the commitment of a partner. In the end, this process may lead to personal growth and in the long run will lead to them finding the person that is right for them – it may just take a bit of time.
Long Term Effect 10: It Can Give You Strength and Determination
While most of the effects that we have included in our list are pretty negative, many experts believe that cheating can lead to a fresh start. Often cheating is not the only cause of a relationship breaking down. Instead, it is more of a symptom that comes from the existing issues within it. Too often, couples do not address issues in their relationship head on, and instead choose to ignore them. This can lead to a ‘blow out’ where things come to a head and can lead to a person being unfaithful. After a person finds out that they have been cheated on, it can lead to them having a fresh start and taking control of their life. They work on themselves and try and move on with their life, which may turn out to be the best thing that happens to them.
While the initial reaction to cheating may be painful, often those who have been cheated on in the past look back on the experience as a moment that changed their life in a positive way.
The Take Away
If someone is a victim of cheating, and they find out that a person they love has broken their trust it can have serious, lasting effects. Ultimately, the person that is impacted the most by an act of cheating is the person that did not do anything wrong. Although the experience is not nice, and can make a person feel vulnerable, there are steps that can be taken to improve how they are feeling and boost their mental health.
If you feel like your partner is cheating, but do not have proof this may mean that you are left paranoid or insecure. One way to combat this is through hiring a private investigator to find proof, allowing you to move on with your life and work on your own self.
As a leading detective agency, Private Investigators UK can help to check whether your partner is cheating on you and to gather evidence in the form of photos/video. Our investigators work across the UK and abroad. Please visit our homepage to learn more about us and the services that we offer.
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