Catfishing Explained: 15 Signs of Online Deception
January 30, 2024 - Reading time: 11 minutes
Updated on: September 3, 2025
What is Catfishing and How Can You Spot It?
If you have ever wondered whether someone online is really who they say they are, you are not alone. Catfishing is the deliberate use of a fake identity to build trust, affection, or influence, sometimes to manipulate victims emotionally or financially. This guide explains what catfishing is, why it happens, and the warning signs to look for.
Where Does the Term Come From?
The term gained popularity after the 2010 documentary Catfish, where a man learned he had been deceived by someone using a false persona. The metaphor refers to keeping others alert and second guessing, similar to the original story about catfish placed with cod to keep them moving.
Is Catfishing Illegal?
Catfishing itself is not always illegal, but actions around it often are. Using stolen photos, identity fraud, harassment, blackmail, or requesting explicit material can lead to criminal or civil consequences. If minors are involved, the risks escalate significantly. If you are affected, seek legal advice.
Why Do People Catfish?
Motivations vary. Some act from insecurity or loneliness. Others seek control, money, or revenge. It may involve strangers or people you already know. Dating apps and social platforms make it easier to create convincing profiles and maintain false stories.
15 Signs You Might Be Dealing with a Catfish
- Avoids voice or video calls for vague reasons and keeps delays going.
- Thin or suspicious social profiles with few friends or odd follower locations.
- Stories that do not add up about work, family, travel, or timelines.
- Photos that appear elsewhere when checked with reverse image search tools.
- Extreme highs or lows in life stories to gain sympathy or admiration.
- Only model-grade or very poor photos, nothing normal or recent.
- Same profile picture for ages with no seasonal or contextual changes.
- No candid selfies on request, or excuses about broken cameras.
- Refuses to meet or repeatedly cancels at short notice.
- Plans always collapse due to constant emergencies or travel.
- They ask a lot about you but share very little in return.
- Requests for money or gift cards, often framed as short-term help.
- Love bombing with intense feelings far too early.
- Your instincts say something is off and the doubts do not go away.
- You are considering outside help to verify who they are.
How to Verify Someone Safely
- Reverse image search their profile photos with Google Lens or TinEye.
- Check the footprint across platforms. Genuine lives leave traces over time.
- Ask for a live selfie holding a specific note or gesture, taken on request.
- Arrange a short video call at short notice, even two minutes is useful.
- Be cautious with documents. Never share passport scans or utility bills.
- Use professional checks when the stakes are high.
Professional identity checks: We can run lawful background checks and online identity verification, including social media OSINT, court record searches, people tracing, dating profile scans, and image provenance checks. This helps confirm whether someone is who they claim to be before you invest time, money, or emotion.
Need Help with a Catfish Situation?
At Private Investigators UK, we have helped many clients confirm suspicions and uncover the truth about people they met online. If you need clarity fast, we can discreetly verify identities, map digital footprints, and provide evidence you can rely on.
- Background checks for identity and history
- OSINT and social media investigations
- People tracing and address verification
- Surveillance if an in-person check is required
We offer free, no pressure consultations. Contact us with your situation and we will advise the most efficient next step.
FAQs
Is it safe to send money if I have video chatted with them?
It is still risky. Scammers can borrow locations, stage calls, or use accomplices. Avoid sending money to anyone you have not met and verified.
They sent me ID photos. Can I trust that?
ID images can be stolen or edited. Treat any document as unverified until checked by a professional.
Should I confront them?
If you feel unsafe, do not confront. Preserve evidence, tighten privacy settings, and consider a professional check first.
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When are People Most Likely to Cheat on their Partners?
December 8, 2023 - Reading time: 9 minutes
Updated on: October 7, 2025
Infidelity is one of the most damaging experiences in any relationship. In modern times, cheating is reported more openly, with countless studies exploring when and why people are unfaithful. Understanding the patterns and situations in which people are most likely to cheat can help you recognise warning signs and protect yourself emotionally.
Seasonal Peaks of Cheating
Research shows March is one of the most common months for divorce filings and increased infidelity. The weeks after Christmas are also notorious, with stress, festive discontent, and New Year resolutions all influencing behaviour.
Another spike is mid-February. 13th February, often called National Mistress Day or National Cheat Day, is a key date when unfaithful partners spend time with lovers before focusing on their spouse on Valentine’s Day.
Everyday Opportunities: School Run, Work, Gym
Not all cheating happens during holidays. Many affairs are carried out in the routine of daily life:
- Cheating on the school run – Some people use the school drop-off and pick-up time as cover for meeting lovers while their partner assumes they are occupied with childcare.
- At work or “working late” – The classic excuse. Offices, business trips, and after-work drinks create cover for discreet affairs.
- Lunch breaks and afternoons – With partners at work, afternoons are often used for secret meetings.
- “Going to the gym” – Some unfaithful partners claim to be exercising but are meeting someone else.
Cheating Abroad and Sex Tourism
Travel can create anonymity and opportunity. Affairs are common during holidays or business trips, with some destinations notorious for casual encounters and sex tourism. Locations such as Thailand, the Philippines, the Netherlands, Spain, and Eastern Europe are frequently cited in reports of infidelity abroad.
While away from home, people often feel freer from consequences, making foreign trips one of the riskiest times for infidelity.
Escorts, Massage Parlours, and Discreet Services
Many unfaithful men and women turn to escorts or discreet services. This can include:
- Escorts and paid companionship, often booked online or via agencies
- Massage parlours where extra services are offered discreetly
- Casual hook-up apps used alongside work or travel
These methods are risky, as payment records, phone logs, and surveillance can all uncover the truth.
Age and Life Stage Patterns
Studies show some predictable life stage patterns in cheating:
- Men are statistically more likely to cheat between the ages of 60 and 79.
- Women are more likely to cheat between the ages of 28 and 37.
- Infidelity is more common after major life stresses, such as moving house, a job promotion, or bereavement.
- The seven-year itch is a real risk period when long-term partners may stray.
What to Do If You Suspect Cheating
For many, there is nothing worse than the thought of a partner cheating. If you suspect infidelity, professional help can provide clarity. At Private Investigators UK, our team of experienced detectives specialise in surveillance and background checks.
We can discreetly confirm or disprove suspicions, providing either peace of mind or evidence to support your next steps. Our services are confidential and available across the UK. Contact us for a free consultation.
Glossary of Key Terms
- School run cheating – Using the school drop-off or pick-up as cover for affairs.
- National Mistress Day – 13th February, the day before Valentine’s, associated with infidelity.
- Sex tourism – Travel to destinations such as Thailand or the Netherlands for sexual activity.
- Seven-year itch – A common relationship milestone when long-term partners may be tempted to stray.
- Escorts and massage parlours – Paid services frequently linked with infidelity cases.
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When to Leave a Cheating Partner — Or Can the Marriage Be Saved?
November 1, 2023 - Reading time: 11 minutes
Updated on: September 3, 2025
After infidelity, deciding whether to walk away or try to save your marriage can be one of the hardest choices you will ever face. Betrayal brings pain, confusion, and a loss of trust. With honesty, support, and careful reflection, some relationships do survive and even grow stronger. Others are simply not worth saving.
At Private Investigators UK, we understand how complex this is. Our discreet cheating partner investigations help you get clarity without confrontation so you can make informed decisions.
Should You Stay After They Cheat?
There is no universal answer. Ask yourself:
- Was this a one off mistake or a repeated betrayal?
- Is your partner taking responsibility or making excuses?
- Are you both willing to rebuild trust or are you the only one trying?
- Can you forgive and do you want to?
If you are still in love but full of doubt, it is fine to seek help from therapists, trusted friends, or private investigators. Do not rush the decision. You deserve clarity, closure, and confidence in your next steps.
Signs It Might Be Time to Walk Away
1. They Will Not Apologise
No remorse, deflection, or blaming you is a major red flag. Change starts with accountability.
2. They Refuse to Talk About It
Shutting down discussion prevents healing and keeps distance between you.
3. The Relationship Feels Exhausting
Rebuilding trust takes time. If the process is draining your health and hope, leaving may be healthier.
4. They Will Not Do the Work
If they refuse therapy, open talks, or boundaries, they are not serious about change.
5. Ongoing Contact with the Third Party
If they keep texting or meeting the other person, that is disregard, not respect.
6. Lies Keep Stacking Up
Honesty is vital after discovery. Ongoing lies make repair impossible.
7. They Minimise Your Feelings
Calling you too sensitive or telling you to get over it is emotional invalidation.
8. They Blame You
Excuses like you did not give me attention are not reasons. They are avoidance.
9. No Regret
If they act like it is nothing or frame you as the problem for raising it, change is unlikely.
Reasons You Might Choose to Stay
1. Your Quality of Life Together Has Been Strong
If the relationship has been fulfilling and this looks out of character, repair may be realistic.
2. You Have Children
Many couples try to work through infidelity for the family. Do weigh this carefully. A tense home can be harmful.
3. There Is Love and Willingness to Rebuild
Some people make terrible mistakes and truly regret them. With therapy, transparency, and firm boundaries, some marriages do recover.
How to Rebuild After Infidelity
Rebuilding is possible with patience and consistent actions from both partners:
- Engage a qualified couples counsellor.
- Set clear boundaries and stick to them. No contact with the third party, full honesty, and agreed check ins.
- Expect setbacks. Healing is not linear.
If your partner is not showing remorse or your instincts say something is still off, you may need independent verification.
Need Proof Before Confronting Them?
If you suspect infidelity but lack evidence, do not confront blindly. Our experienced private detectives can confirm the truth discreetly and lawfully. Whether you want peace of mind or you are preparing for a divorce case, evidence matters.
Contact us for a confidential, no pressure quote. Include your postcode and brief details and we will suggest the most effective and cost efficient approach.
Glossary
- Emotional affair – a non physical relationship where intimacy and secrecy undermine the partnership.
- Physical affair – sexual contact outside the relationship.
- Trickle truth – revealing information in small parts over time which damages trust further.
- No contact rule – a boundary where the cheating partner ends all contact with the third party.
- Reconciliation plan – a clear set of steps that both partners agree to for rebuilding trust.
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Why Would a Private Investigator Want to Talk to You?
October 25, 2023 - Reading time: 11 minutes
Updated on: September 4, 2025
Private investigators do not contact people without prior contact to ask for money or payment. If someone phones, emails, texts, or messages you through WhatsApp or Telegram claiming to be a PI and demanding money, it is almost certainly a scam.
In the UK, private investigators are not licensed and have no special powers. Some scammers use the title to sound authoritative. Do not send money, do not share personal or financial information, and always verify the business independently.
- Hang up and call back using a number listed on the firm’s official website.
- Check Companies House to confirm they are a registered business.
- Report scam attempts to Action Fraud and your bank if money has been sent.
Why Would a Private Investigator Want to Talk to You?
When most people think of private investigators, they imagine someone watching from behind darkened car windows or hiding in the bushes. In reality, private detectives often speak to people directly - and not always for suspicious reasons. If a private investigator has tried to contact you, it usually means you might know something useful.
Being contacted by a PI isn’t necessarily bad. Your cooperation could help someone else - or even benefit you. Below are some of the most common reasons a private investigator might try to reach you.
1. You’re Involved in Legal Proceedings
If you're going through a divorce, child custody case, or being sued, a private investigator may be trying to deliver legal documents. This process is called process serving. It can include claim forms, bankruptcy petitions, family court paperwork, and restraining orders.
If a PI approaches you in public and asks for identification, they are probably serving you papers. Avoiding them won’t help - legal papers can still be served, even if they are left at your feet.
2. Someone You Know Is Missing
When someone goes missing, especially a vulnerable person, PIs are often called in to help. If they’re reaching out to you, it may be because you know something that could help reunite someone with their family.
Finding a missing person usually involves record searches and speaking with people who may know more. A short conversation with a PI could make all the difference.
3. You (or Someone You Know) Owe Money
Debt recovery is a regular part of investigative work. A PI may contact you if you’re listed as a debtor, guarantor, or someone who could provide useful information.
You are not legally obliged to cooperate, but dodging calls rarely ends the matter. In some cases, it’s better to communicate - or even hire your own investigator if you are worried about privacy or fairness.
4. You Previously Reached Out to a Private Investigator
If you filled out a contact form, sent an enquiry, or messaged a PI online, don’t be surprised if they follow up. Like any professional service, private investigators need to assess your case before taking it on.
They will usually ask questions to clarify your goals, the situation, and the people involved. This isn’t prying - it’s about checking whether they can actually help. Many investigators also offer a free consultation or quote before you commit.
5. You’re the Subject of a Background Check
If you’ve applied for a job, tenancy, or financial role recently, you may be undergoing a background check. Private investigators often carry these out on behalf of employers or companies doing due diligence.
If you're contacted in this context, there is no need to panic. If you’ve got nothing to hide, engaging can even work in your favour because it shows transparency.
6. You Work in Law Enforcement
Sometimes, private investigators uncover information that relates to active crimes. While they aren’t police officers, responsible investigators will pass on anything relevant to law enforcement. If you’re in law enforcement, a PI may be trying to share something important.
7. You've Inherited Money
Not all reasons are bad. Sometimes, it’s good news. If a relative has died and you’ve been listed in their will, a PI may have been hired to track you down. Locating beneficiaries is common, especially when executors need to find missing heirs or relatives.
In these cases, a PI is acting on behalf of an estate. You may be owed money or property, and they’re trying to make sure you receive it.
So, Should You Respond?
If a private investigator contacts you, you can choose to speak with them or refuse. In many cases, ignoring them only delays things. If you’re unsure, consider seeking legal advice or consulting your own investigator if the matter feels sensitive.
How to Spot Fake Private Investigators
Sadly, there are scams where people pretend to be private investigators. In the UK, private investigators are not licensed and do not hold special powers. A genuine PI may be hired for tracing, background checks, or serving papers, but they will not call you out of nowhere asking for bank transfers or gift cards.
If someone contacts you on the phone, by email, or through apps like WhatsApp or Telegram claiming to be a PI and demanding money, treat it as a scam. Real investigators work for clients and businesses, not by chasing strangers for payments.
- Check the company’s website for a physical address and landline number.
- Search Companies House to see if they are a real registered business.
- Report any suspicious contact to Action Fraud.
This helps protect you from fraud and avoids being tricked by criminals posing as detectives.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do private investigators call you out of the blue?
They might if you are a witness, a beneficiary, a debtor, or the subject of a background check. What they should never do is contact you to demand money up front.
Are private investigators licensed in the UK?
No. There is no government licence for private investigators in the UK. Reputable firms still follow the law, privacy rules, and industry codes.
How can I verify a legitimate private investigator?
Look for full business details, an office address, a landline, and client reviews. A trustworthy PI will provide written fees and will not pressure you to pay on the spot.
What should I do if I think a caller is a scammer?
Hang up, find the firm’s number yourself, and report it to Action Fraud. If you already sent money, contact your bank right away.
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