12 Signs that Your Partner is Having an Affair

July 18, 2021 - Reading time: 16 minutes
Updated on: October 5, 2025

When you realise that your partner is sometimes vague about their activities, or you notice subtle behavioural changes, unusual actions, and occurrences, it may be that there is cause for concern. Be aware, though, that there may be an innocent explanation and even more than one of these together may not mean that your partner is playing away. However, follow your instinct; check out our list; as your hunch may be right.

1. Suddenly they are difficult to reach

A change in being able to contact them and their eagerness to call you back when there is no reason for not calling back as they usually would. Valid reasons would be things like a promotion at work or you know they are working on an important project with a tight deadline. No apparent reason for suddenly being unavailable to you should trigger alarm bells.

2. A breakdown in communication

Suddenly they are unresponsive, apathetic even and won’t communicate with you. They are no longer interested in telling you about their day; you have to ask and are then dismissed or fobbed off.

A persistent refusal to communicate is known as stonewalling and is a common signal that something is wrong in your relationship. If your partner is:

  • Ignoring what you say, refusing to listen or respond
  • Storming off without a word for no reason that you are aware of
  • Finds excuses why they can't talk on the phone
  • Uses eye-rolling or other dismissive body language
  • Changes the subject or uses avoidance techniques to avoid telling you what’s wrong
  • Refuses to answer your questions
  • Acts in a passive-aggressive manner

They either perceive there is something wrong with the relationship, or they may be having an affair.

3. Phone and laptop habits change

They suddenly start keeping their phone with them more, change the password, frequently put it on silent, and then leave the room to listen to voicemail or look at texts. They no longer leave their phone on the side when they come in or ask you to hand it to them.

Man holding a phone

Hiding their phone screen from you and not allowing you to borrow or use their phone is another giveaway. Perhaps they need time to delete messages from their phone before allowing you to use it. They could start spending more time on a laptop or PC at home. Again, they may change their password, and you no longer have access to their emails.

4. They stop using affectionate terms

A big indicator is when you realise that they are no longer using the words 'I love you' or affectionate nicknames. When this happens, there's likely to be some underlying issue.

However, they might suddenly seem over-affectionate as a way to cover their tracks.

5. They seem to have a problem with you for no reason

Often a cheating partner is battling internal conflict by convincing themselves that you are the problem and, therefore, the affair is justified. Cognitive dissonance is an anxiety that occurs when someone is doing something that they should know is wrong, and they work to justify their actions that are wrong by convincing themselves the opposite.

This type of dissonance often shows as being hypercritical of you out of the blue.

6. An apparent loss of libido or increase in sex

Cheaters interest in sex at home is likely to decrease; after all, they are getting it elsewhere. They will distance themselves, avoid the usual situations that lead to sex and have excuses.

Couple in bed arguing

However, it is not unusual for a sudden increase in sexual appetite. Guilty parties may seem interested in more sex at home. There are several explanations, such as trying to cover their tracks by pretending everything is great with you. They take control of sex, so they can satisfy you when it suits them in the expectation you won’t miss it when they cannot provide it. They are comparing how they feel with each of their sexual partners.

A sudden increase or decrease in sex, especially when any of the other signs are present, could be a clue that your partner is having an affair.

7. Their friends are suddenly unavailable

It may be that they need someone to confide in or to talk the situation through with. Plus, of course, they may need friends as an alibi for when they are cheating. Your partner's friends will frequently actually know something is going on before you even suspect it. If your partner's friends are unavailable and seem to avoid you, perhaps they are doing this to lessen their own guilt.

8. A sudden interest in their appearance or showering more frequently

A sudden otherwise unexplained interest in their appearance, showering as soon as they get in, wearing fragrance or inexplicably changing their fragrance are all things that could mean there is someone else in their life. They wash to remove the traces of the other person and they work on their appearance and make sure they smell nice to impress the new person. When your partner suddenly starts this type of route, it's reasonable to enquire. There may be a genuine reason, but listen and watch when they reply.

9. They stop chatting about their day

It’s usual for your partner to discuss their day with you. When this suddenly stops, and they suddenly don't want to tell you about their day, journey, and so on, alarm bells should ring. Because people usually share the details of their day with their partner. If your partner is cheating, they'll be sharing those details elsewhere. Consequently, they're not telling you or telling you less. They may not even realise that they are no longer sharing with you. They may try to cover their tracks by telling you a little, but if the funny anecdotes have gone or they are suddenly all you are getting, then it may be that they have someone new to tell.

10. They accuse you of having an affair

Sometimes the cheater will draw attention away from their actions by accusing you of cheating. They can put you on the defensive and make it difficult for you to bring up your concerns. This is often followed up with needing to know what you are doing when. This tactic ensures they know when and where to cheat when they know you are safely elsewhere.

11. Increasing gifts

Happy, loving partners give gifts, but so do those with a guilty conscience. Cheaters see it as a way of reassuring you that everything is fine as they cover their tracks.

Man giving a rose to his wife

Extravagant gifts especially imply their devotion to you, and they believe will reassure you that everything is "normal". This pseudo devotion is a tool they use to cover up small signs of cheating so that they can convince you there is nothing going on.

12. They have something important to do elsewhere

If your partner is having an affair, they will need to find excuses to be away or to create the time and space they need for the new squeeze. These may include things like:

  • A family member who needs things done
  • A friend in need
  • Helping a friend with a house extension or decorating
  • An important project at work

Relationships do naturally change

Our relationships naturally grow, alter and evolve. When you ask about some change that is bothering you, there should be no accusation from you regarding initial concerns; equally, there should be defensiveness from your partner if there is an innocent explanation.

If you're wondering why, hire a spy

If you suspect that your partner might be cheating on you, then don't live in doubt. We can help to investigate your partner and find out what is really going on while gathering evidence. Our private investigators cover all areas of the United Kingdom and beyond. Visit the PrivateInvestigators-UK homepage for more information on us and the services we offer, or check out our other related articles below:

Need Proof of a Cheating Partner in the UK?

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If you're concerned that your partner might be cheating on you, our experienced detectives can check their activities and gather evidence discreetly across the UK. Request a free quote through our secure website.


Why Do Private Investigators Follow People?

July 16, 2021 - Reading time: 10 minutes
Updated on: August 7, 2025

As private investigators, our work is often misunderstood and fictionalised by popular TV shows and movies… The reality is that private eyes work across the UK (and most countries!) on a daily basis. Some people may even develop fears that private investigators might be following them, however, PIs will only follow people for good reason.

An agent pointing a DSLR camera at a mirror

There are many different reasons which might cause a private investigator to follow you, from an accident injury claim investigation, to an investigator instructed by your partner and anything in-between. Private investigators do not simply follow people out of their own free will – they do so because they receive instructions from their clients. We will explore some of the most common reasons for private investigators to follow people in this article.

1. Accident injury claims

Accident injury claims are one of the most common reasons for private investigators to follow people. With an abundance of “no win no fee” law firms operating across the UK, pursuing litigation is often easy and costless for claimants, and the temptation for them to exaggerate or fabricate their injuries is ever-present.

With stakes running high, it is often a cost-effective decision for insurance companies to instruct private investigators to follow people and examine their injury claims. If, for example, a subject claims that they are not able to walk unaided, and that same person is later photographed by a private investigator playing football, then they may find it difficult to explain the evidence which is gathered.

If you are making an injury claim then you should expect that a private investigator may examine your claims and verify their accuracy.

2. Infidelity investigations

Infidelity and accident injury investigations are by far our most common reasons for conducting surveillance on an individual. If your partner suspects that you might be cheating on them, then they may decide to check your activities by hiring a private investigator to follow you and check on your movements.

Most people that are cheating on their partners would never suspect that a private investigator will get involved and be asked to follow them – it is usually the last thing on their minds. If you suspect that your partner is having an affair but are unable to prove it, then gathering hard evidence showing their activities can be very rewarding in most cases.

When a marriage breaks down due to infidelity and a couple parts ways, then the stakes can be even higher, and the cost of hiring a private investigator can often be earned back a thousand times over if it helps to swing a divorce settlement in one party’s favour.

3. Investigating sick employees

When an employee claims that they are too unwell to work, they might receive statutory sick pay from their employer. If their claims are genuine then the firm should have no issue in compensating their employee. However, not all people are as honest as we might hope.

False claims of this nature can wind up costing small fortunes, with the costs particularly damaging to small and medium size enterprises.

If a company suspects that their employee is being dishonest about their health in order to receive sick pay, then hiring a private investigator to place that individual under surveillance can be a cost-effective solution to the problem in most cases.

If, for example, an employee is claiming to be bedridden, but is subsequently photographed by a private investigator playing golf for several hours, then they might find their claims difficult to maintain. Protecting a company’s interests by checking on sick employees can help to save significant amounts of money.

4. Character checks by a concerned relative

What do we mean by “Character checks by a concerned relative”? Well, if a close family member begins a romantic relationship with a certain person that you have a concern about, then a private investigator can help by placing that person under surveillance and checking their lifestyle.

It should be noted that in most cases of this type, a background check would be the most common solution provided by us. However, if our client wishes to take things a step further than a simple background check, then we can also help to place the subject under surveillance and check their movements. Often is the case that our clients will ask to include personal surveillance in addition to our background check service.

In such cases we always recommend running checks or performing surveillance as soon as possible after a relationship starts to become serious… The more time that passes, the stronger feelings can become, and we find it’s better to perform due diligence from the outset.

5. Cohabitation investigations

There are many different reasons that we might be instructed to start a cohabitation investigation. Most commonly, we will be asked to gather evidence of cohabitation for use in a case related to matrimonial maintenance payments (typically post-divorce), in financial or divorce settlement cases, and in child custody cases.

We often work alongside solicitors for cohabitation investigations, though we equally happy to accept instructions from private individuals.

Couple cooking food inside a kitchen

Local authorities also commonly rely on private investigators to gather proof of cohabitation for investigations into potentially fraudulent benefit claims.

Investigations into cohabitation can often span over several weeks or even months, as our clients will typically need to document a subject’s living circumstances beyond any doubt.

6. Hostile surveillance and malicious intent

While most surveillance work is carried out for legitimate purposes, it's important to understand that not everyone uses surveillance ethically. In some rare cases, individuals with dishonest or malicious intent may attempt to use private investigators under false pretences. For example, someone with personal grudges or controlling tendencies may present a false narrative to a private investigator in order to justify following someone. If the investigator isn’t aware of the full context or is being deliberately misled, they may unintentionally participate in what is essentially malicious surveillance.

Hostile surveillance isn’t always carried out by licensed investigators either. Criminals, stalkers, and others with bad intentions may observe your movements in order to plan robbery, assault, harassment, or worse. In rare but serious cases, even terrorists may conduct surveillance to identify potential targets or security weaknesses.

7. Counter-surveillance and bug sweeps

If you believe you may be under surveillance-whether by a private investigator, a malicious actor, or someone else-you may want to consider hiring professionals who offer counter-surveillance services. These services can help identify if you are being followed or monitored, and can involve a mix of physical and electronic checks.

A common solution is a bug sweep, also known as Technical Surveillance Counter-Measures (TSCM). These sweeps detect hidden devices such as microphones, GPS trackers, or covert cameras that may have been placed in your home, car, or office. We also offer this service as part of our wider counter-surveillance work, so if you’re feeling suspicious, we can help you get to the bottom of it.

Counter-surveillance might involve:

  • Monitoring whether you're being followed or watched
  • Electronic scanning of your home or car for hidden devices
  • Providing guidance and evidence if ongoing surveillance is discovered

8. What to do if you think you're being watched

If you feel you're being surveilled and it's causing you concern, there are some practical steps you can take:

  • Don’t confront or panic-keep calm and start taking notes
  • Document suspicious vehicles or people who repeatedly appear
  • Get in touch with a private investigator who specialises in counter-surveillance
  • Consider having a bug sweep carried out to check your property and possessions

Not all surveillance is lawful or justified. If something doesn’t feel right, you’re well within your rights to investigate and protect yourself.

Static surveillance or mobile surveillance

When it comes to surveillance, there are usually two different services offered by us: Static surveillance or mobile surveillance. As part of “Mobile surveillance” the agent will remain mobile and actively follow the subject as they travel around. Mobile surveillance can be conducted on foot, using public transport, or using vehicles (usually cars), depending on the subject in each case and how they are likely to travel around.

Static surveillance on the other hand would involve the surveillance agent remaining outside a specific property and photographing subjects as they come and go from the address.

Both forms of surveillance hold their own advantages and the best course of action will always depend on the circumstances in each case and our clients’ goal for the investigation.

Private Investigators UK

We are a leading private investigation firm based in the UK and provide surveillance services nationwide. For more information about PrivateInvestigators-UK, our services, and our fees, please click through to our homepage, or continue browsing our blog for more free private investigator resources.

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10 Body Language Signals That Your Partner Might Be Cheating

July 11, 2021 - Reading time: 12 minutes
Updated on: October 5, 2025

Does it feel like something in your relationship is different? Like something has changed but you aren’t exactly sure what it is?

Cheating couple leaning on each other

Detecting infidelity in a relationship can be difficult, especially if your partner hones their lies by having an affair over several months or even years.

Fortunately, there are some body language signals which can help to give away what your partner has been up to. Here are 10 body language signals that your partner might be cheating on you:

1. They will avoid eye contact with you

When your partner doesn’t look you in the eyes like they used to, this is a strong sign that they are being dishonest. A lack of eye contact is one of the most common indicators of dishonesty and people resort to this body language signal when they are trying to hide something.

If your partner is cheating, they will avoid eye contact when you ask them direct questions. If you notice that they are looking away when questioned, then you should press them on why they don’t want to look you in the eyes.

If they start a fight, try to change the subject, or still not maintain eye contact with you, then their behaviour should act as a strong indication that something isn’t right.

2. They become tense when you show them affection in public

Public displays of affection like hand-holding, an arm around their shoulder, or a hand on their waist will cause them to be reluctant and hesitant. If you see any shift in behaviour from what they usually behaved like, then there may be something they are hiding from you.

If they usually liked hand-holding, but now they avoid it, then that is a shift from their normal behaviour, and you should look into it.

3. They look you in the eyes more often

If your partner is looking you in the eyes more often, they might be trying to compensate for their disinterest in what you are saying and doing.

Why is this? People know that looking away and avoiding eye contact can be interpreted as being disinterested and that it will come across as rude. Knowing this, they will try to keep as much eye contact as possible to try and fool you.

4. Their feet face away from you

The positioning of your partner’s feet can give you a hint as to whether they are cheating on you or not. if their feet are pointing away from you when you are talking, then they are not interested and are focused on something else.

This is one of the most obvious body language signals that you can pick up on and use to help yourself find out more about what or who your partner is more focused on.

5. They are blinking too much

Blinking rapidly is a sign that something isn’t right. If your partner is blinking more than usual, especially when talking about specific things like your relationship and their movements, then this is a signal that they are struggling to keep up the lies they are telling you and hiding their affair.

6. Increased anxiety signals

Lying is a stressful thing and keeping up with the lies can be difficult. If your partner is cheating on you, then they may well show more anxiety signals.

Anxiety signals include rapid blinking, shallow and fast breathing, increased foot-tapping, fiddling their fingers and objects, and having mood swings. If your partner displays any of these, then they could be lying to you or hiding something they don’t want you to find out about.

7. They give you the cold shoulder

If your loving partner becomes cold and distant all of a sudden, then it’s obvious that something has changed. Have the fun and enjoyable conversations become dull and forced? This is a sign that your partner is trying to distance themselves from you because they feel guilty about cheating and lying, and that they want to get out of the relationship.

8. Increased hygiene

If your partner becomes more hygienic all of a sudden, this could be a sign of infidelity. Yes, really. They could be doing this to remove all traces of the other person’s scent on their skin.

Your partner might start showering more, changing their clothes more frequently, buying clothes more often, and purchasing new perfumes or aftershaves to hide any trace of their new lover’s scent.

9. Their voice will start to change

Men and women tend to drop the tone of their voices, so it becomes deeper when they are feeling sexy. If you notice your partner’s voice becoming deeper when they are talking to someone on the phone compared to when they are talking to you, then you should start paying attention.

If your partner is laughing more when they are on phone calls than when they are talking to you, then this is something that you should be suspicious of. Especially if this change in behaviour is paired with some of the other body language signals that have been mentioned in this article.

10. Hesitation in their speech

If your partner uses more placeholders when they are talking to you, this is an easy signal to notice. It is your partner’s body’s way of asking them to buy more time so they can come up with answers to your questions.

They don’t want to be caught out on a lie, so they will need to think about what they have to say for longer, and they will fill in this extra time with placeholder words. If you notice this, then ask them if anything is wrong, their answer and the way they say that answer could tell you everything you need to know.

Catch a cheating partner

If you suspect that your partner might be cheating on you, then don’t suffer in silence. PrivateInvestigators-UK operates a network of experienced private detectives, covering all areas of the United Kingdom and beyond.

We can help to place your partner under surveillance, check their movements, and provide hard evidence that they are cheating on you. Evidence which is captured by us can help our clients to make life changing decisions, or be used as proof of infidelity during divorce proceedings.

Related articles

Need Proof of a Cheating Partner in the UK?

A close-up of a person’s eye (with blue iris) overlaid with digital, high-tech graphics and interface elements. In the foreground is a logo for PrivateInvestigators-UK.

If you're concerned that your partner might be cheating on you, our experienced detectives can check their activities and gather evidence discreetly across the UK. Your enquiry is confidential.


Online Romance Scam Warning Signs

July 9, 2021 - Reading time: 5 minutes
Updated on: August 7, 2025

Scammers are drawn to dating websites and apps because they know that people visit them in order to find partners with whom they can create personal connections with. Scammers will try to take advantage of their trust with the ultimate goal of soliciting money. They will often take several months, or even years, to gradually build the trust of their victims before asking for money or gifts.

Internet dating scams infographic

Action Fraud received 8,548 reports of romance fraud in 2024, with losses over £92 million. Scams surged 20% in early 2025, showing no signs of slowing down.

Many victims have lost hundreds or thousands of pounds to these online dating scammers, and it’s not always easy (or possible) to get any money back.

With this in mind, we have put together some of the common warning signs that you should know about to help you detect and avoid online dating scams. When you are talking to someone online, be on the lookout for these warning signs:

1. Rushing the relationship & love-bombing

Scammers often use intense declarations of love or insist you’re “meant to be” within days or weeks. This emotional rush attempts to bypass your rational guardrails. It's a classic “love-bombing” tactic.

2. Requests for money, gifts or favours under false pretences

Once trust is established, financial asks begin. They may claim medical bills, travel costs, or emergencies — anything to justify money from you. They escalate if refused and may end contact, warning you that you're “cold-hearted”.

3. Generic responses and inconsistent storytelling

You might notice vague replies, scripted messages, and responses that don’t follow your conversation. Inconsistencies in their timeline or background are telling signs.

4. Cancelling video calls with excuses

Repeatedly avoiding video calls with flimsy stories — broken cameras, faulty internet — is a red flag. Scammers often fake video calls using pre-recorded footage.

5. No verifiable digital footprint

Perform a reverse image search or Google their name. Genuine people often have social profiles or traces online. Total anonymity — or inconsistent online presence — is suspicious.

6. “Too good to be true” profiles

Scammers may claim shared hobbies, backgrounds, or interests they glean from your social accounts. If it feels tailored to reel you in, it probably is.

7. Newly created or quiet social profiles

Look for red flags like minimal activity, recent creation, and lack of engagement. Genuine profiles usually show history and social interaction.

8. Being asked to perform tasks or receive packages

Scammers might ask you to receive money, gift cards, parcels, or even forward items. You may unwittingly become involved in money laundering or other illicit activity — avoid it at all costs.

9. Poor grammar and unclear language

Frequent errors, unusual phrasing or poor English can indicate overseas scammers hiding behind fabricated stories.

10. Elaborate overseas backstories or emergencies

Scammers often say they work abroad, are in crisis, or require urgent financial help to travel or resolve a situation. These narratives are crafted to stop personal meetings while seeking money.

11. They encourage you to invest in cryptocurrency or suspicious schemes

If someone you’ve met online is encouraging you to invest in cryptocurrency or promising quick returns through any kind of online scheme, be very cautious. One of the most common and dangerous forms of romance fraud is what's known as a "pig butchering" scam. In this type of scam, the fraudster gains your trust over time and slowly convinces you to invest more and more money into what turns out to be a fake crypto trading platform or investment opportunity. These scams often look sophisticated and may even come with professional-looking websites, apps, and fake customer support.

If anyone you’re dating online starts offering to help you make money through cryptocurrency or investment trading, it’s a major red flag. Always treat investment advice from online strangers with extreme caution, especially if the relationship has developed quickly or the person avoids meeting in real life.

What to do if you suspect a scam

Romance scams aren’t just financially damaging — they can be emotionally devastating. If warning signs fit:

  • Cease communication immediately.
  • Tell a trusted friend or family for emotional support.
  • Use reverse image search tools to verify profile photos.
  • Contact your bank or card provider if you've sent money.
  • Report the scam to Action Fraud (0300 123 2040) or Police Scotland.

Romance fraud is relentless and evolving — and it’s often under-reported. In 2024 alone, UK victims lost nearly £99.4 million, with older and more isolated individuals bearing the heaviest cost.

As a trusted UK detective agency, PrivateInvestigators-UK offers verification of romance claims and can assist in spotting fake personas. If you suspect a scam, feel free to get in touch and see how we can help.




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